Early Electrolysis Results

If you are considering electrolysis, do your research. If you are considering doing electrolysis at home, do a lot of research. It cannot be said that my path is the best, good, or even decent. I will not say it is has been bad either. I can only vouch that my path has simply been mine. You need to find yours.

I’m not an expert, but I will share what I have learned. There are a few methods of “home electrolysis,” but only one is permanent. It is also dangerous. It involves inserting a needle-like probe into your pore, along the hair follicle. It passes a light electrical current through the root of the hair, killing or weakening it. It is like an electrified mosquito bite. You then tweeze the hair, plucking it from your skin. It is not a pleasant experience. Afterwards, your face looks like you were attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes. Then redness and swelling pass after a number of hours. Other people have reported a day. I am using the lightest settings on the electrolysis device. If you were to have a professional do it, it would be the same technique but more efficient and with better training. There would also be someone to be held accountable if/when there is a mistake.

There are many other details I am leaving out. One may have to retreat the same hair numerous times, due to it not being in the right growth stage. One has to make sure everything, including your skin is disinfected. It could take 18 months to clear a beard. The purpose of this post is not to inform you on how to do it, so much as to inform you of how I have handled it.

I am going to post a link for the device I use for those curious or interested. That said, I urge you to do research first. You are taking your own skin into your own hands. If you have the means, go see a professional. Here is the device on Amazon:  https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00011JN5G Please read some of the reviews for tips and hints on using the product.

And this is the fantastic-feeling tea tree cream for applying afterwards: https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B000HZVS2M

Shaving is a rite of passage for many boys on their way to manhood. For me, it was an awkward moment. I’ve always hated shaving, not just because it was a chore but because it felt strange. I never did get used to it. But electrolysis can be just as bad if not. I will admit there were days I cried about it in the beginning. This is not just taking bad-tasting medicine. This is Harry forcing Dumbledore to drink water that tortures him in order to get to a horcrux. Many report taking tylenol before sessions to deal with the pain. I use meditation and deep breathing. It has now been a month’s worth of working, every three to four days for an hour at a time. Recently I stopped at a store with a friend and used the restroom. I looked in the mirror and noticed I appeared differently. It took a minute to figure out the difference. There are now small patches on my face that don’t fill in. When the changes become a little more noticeable, I will post pictures. Yep. Totally worth it.

There are really great resources out there on electrolysis. The following pages I found to be helpful starting places. I have also learned that some dermatologists offer electrolysis. If anyone has other resources, feel free to post them in the comments. I will post them on my resources page. Maybe I will give electrolysis and hair removal its own section in the future.

http://www.tsroadmap.com/physical/hair/index.html

http://www.electrology.com/

Ankle-deep in Transition

I saw the shores of transition and got my toes wet. We spoke. We spoke on the ramifications and my feelings. I thought long and hard about the impacts. I prepared to take this journey alone. I understood that the people around me will need space to get used to the changes I make. Others will not support the new version of me. I understood… And I waded in.

I’m now ankle-deep. I’m learning to self-administer electrolysis. I’m training neck muscles to feminize my voice. I’m waiting for a referral for an endocrinologist. And that’s just the physical. Certain people are now addressing me by new name and chosen pronouns. I’m going through my list and figuring out who should be informed before I go public. If you don’t get informed and think that you should have been, know that I’m going through a lot. It wasn’t personal.

I am the only transgender person on my island that I know of. When you live in a community this small, going “stealth” is pretty pointless. Everyone knows your business and your history. It becomes a matter of when I feel comfortable making the switch. When one is in ankle deep water, it is a little early to try swimming, but that does not mean one cannot drown. I need to take it slow. Things are already overwhelming. Family members are drawing lines. I have found love and support in unsuspecting places. It’s a crazy time and place to be a trans-woman.

This blog is going to document my transformation. It will also be a place for venting and occasionally for bragging. If any of you are worried about me or where I’m headed, I take leave of you with this quote.

“I am old now: gray, wrinkled, tired, bloated, and my joints ached, too. But I am ready to come into my full destiny, as my childhood dreams predicted, as a Neo-Amazonian Pirate Queen of my own vessel: firing cannonballs at the worldwide culture of patriarchy in the name of all that does not suck.” – Roseanne Barr

Good night and blessings to all,

River

A Day of Silence

Silence

I decided to give up speaking for a day. What I gained was acceptance.

It began with me noticing that we speak to change things. We only speak to change something in our external environment. Even when we only seek to inform, we are seeking to change the perspective of another, if only temporarily. It reminded me of cats. Adult cats never meow at other cats in the wild. They learn only to meow at humans, because it’s a language we understand. They learn to speak up when they are hungry, need attention, or something of the sort. Meowing gets the human to change the environment for them in a way that they cannot. We taught them the great language of complaining.

I speak the most in my house, so I decided I needed to give it a rest. I told my family what I was doing. It is not until you silence your voice that you realize its power. I made sure we didn’t have any big meetings that day. I hugged my wife and wrote one last note on the white board for our two girls. “You may speak. I will not. I love you, both.” Then, I began to listen. I contemplated what it really meant to listen versus to speak. What had I been missing? If I had been trying to change things, what if I spent more time just learning to accept? I carried a small notebook with me when I absolutely needed to communicate. I also stayed off of my phone and facebook. I spent a great part of the day in meditation. The meditation didn’t make it easier to stay silent. The silence made it easier to meditate.

A further experiment came out of this. It would become a game of shadow. Times when I would want to correct or change things in my environment, I would write it down in my book but not show it to the person. If one of them forgot their manners, I would write down “manners” instead of saying something to her. When they began arguing, I stayed out of it and allowed them to sort it out themselves. But I wrote it down. This is an excellent way to really get to know the true you. All the stuff we tell others not to do? We do it. At some point, we learned from someone that these behaviors were “bad,” “evil,” or “wrong.” And because we just can’t keep your personal expectations to yourself, we go around trying to fix everyone around us or complaining about what we think is wrong with them. Those horrible behaviors might make them happy, keep them sane, or might even do us some good, but we are too often on our high horse to think of this perspective.

To sum up, I’ve learned most communication is unnecessary. Most people are just looking for someone to listen, not someone to fix their problems. I vent from time to time when I’m stressed. It happens. More importantly, I learned every single thing you could possibly say to another person, you should say twice. Say it once to them and say it again while looking in a mirror. It will make you think twice before speaking too harshly or directing negative energy. Some people are difficult for a reason. Other people are nice for the same reason. Their methods get them what they want. Somewhere along the line they learned that their particular method worked best. Returning the favor reinforces the lesson. And yes, there is always a time to be difficult and a time to be nice. Balance is being flexible. But it is not our role to fix everybody else or their life. It’s our role to fix ourselves. Lend an ear when it’s needed, but your words have power. Use them sparingly and lovingly.

In the future, I will seek to use mine with more love. If there is a perspective I think people need to learn more about, it is one of gratitude. I am very happy with my life. I am glad that my throat chakra is catching up with my heart chakra. 😉
Thanks and blessings,
Waterfall Sunfeather

Listening

The Mirror Challenge

Everyone has insecurities about their body, and it is little wonder. With images of models and actors in their prime and who have been hand selected for their exquisite outer beauty, the ordinary person has not a chance when being compared to them. We also don’t have the money for the clothes, the make-up, the hair, the personal trainer, etc. But who is doing the comparing? How many times has our loved ones really told us we need to look like that? We do the comparing. We have been programmed to compare ourselves to everyone else. We do it out of nature and habit. It’s how we learn. If we cannot compare, we cannot see if we are doing something correctly. Unfortunately, we apply it to body image. And while we might not have all the money, we do have personal power. And we have the ability to shift our perspective. And now it’s time to our body back.

Some of us love the mirror. Some of us hate it. The challenge is to look in the mirror for 5-10 minutes every day. No make-up. No clothes. Hair down. Just you as you are. And tell yourself that you are beautiful. Tell yourself that you are ok with how you look. And tell yourself that you forgive yourself. 5 minutes a day, every day. Until you mean it. That is my challenge to all of you. If you don’t do this, then maybe nobody else will. And if you do this and mean it, it won’t matter what anybody says about your body. You will never compare or be compared again.

We know that society’s standards have been wrong, and they’re slowly changing. See the Ugly modeling agency here. Robyn Lawley, a plus-size model graced the inside of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue this year. Read about it here. Read about a beautiful ad campaign from ModCloth here. And when society(like Victoria’s Secret) does throw us a rotten fish, we fight back like this and this. The people in these articles had to come to terms with their bodies. Now, it’s your turn. Go out there give your body some love.

Waterfall

Sensory Meditations

Excellent way to introduce someone to meditation or begin again if you are out of practice.

Gern Laverty

For those new to meditation, these simple exercises are a great way to get started. They will teach you to relax and focus. For everyone else, they’re a great way to add a little peace back into your life. They can be done in any order. Try doing them alone, with a partner, or even a class. You can do one or two a day. Experiment, have fun, and make them your own.

Some tips on these meditations: Dress comfortably. Sit comfortably. Close your eyes and focus your sole attention on one sense. Block everything else out. Nothing else exists, except you and that sense. Good luck!

Sound Meditation. Find a leather drum, bell, chime, metal pitcher, triangle, or anything will ring when struck. I used a drum. Sit quietly and close your eyes. Strike the instrument. Practice listening for the moment it stops ringing. After doing this repeatedly, you…

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Men who honour the Goddess – PaganSquare – PaganSquare – Join the conversation!

Men who honour the Goddess – PaganSquare – PaganSquare – Join the conversation!.

Yay! Candise published her article on Men who honor the Goddess on her blog on the Witches and Pagans site. Guess who is featured with Hekate’s ritual. Thank you Hekate, and thank you Candise!